How To Entertain
Delivery Men
I wear a hat to bed.
I did some laundry and washed my hat.
I was really sleepy when I dug in the laundry basket for my hat. I slept all night and was woken up by a
parcel delivery person. I could not
understand why this person was holding their sides while waiting for me to sign
for the package. It wasn't until I
looked in the mirror and realized I had pulled (a clean) pair of men’s knit
boxers on my head instead of my hat. So,
I answered the door with men's underwear on my head. I think I made the delivery person's day!
Inspire me
I can still laugh when I look at myself in the mirror. I
woke up a few minutes ago after quite a fight to get to sleep. I stood there
and I will have to paint the image with words. I took a shower and I had my
hair braided to the side and it was hanging halfway down my chest. I had pulled
on an old black & white knit cap to keep warm in bed, (you lose most of
your body heat by your head), I am wearing a light blue thermal shirt, that Barker
had chewed a bit of, and I sewed the hole shut and as I looked at myself in the
mirror, I noticed that one side was stuck under my left breast and the right
side was tangled by my medic alert necklace that also has my cell phone in a
little sack (set to vibrate) , so my beer belly'ssss (multiple, but not from
beer) were peeking out. I am wearing cotton pj pants, blue & white stripe
with HUGE strawberries on them, but I put them on inside out. I am wearing two
different knee high tube socks, one has stripes one is plain white. I think
this fashion ansamble hits JUST the right note with my bathrobe. As many of you
know, I like my bargains. I found a luxuriously thick white terry cloth
bathrobe, with such fantastic embroidery of roses on the front and on one sleeve.
The problem? It is size 7X! To add to the ugg factor, the years have not been
kind, there are all kinds of snags and pulls, and somehow they have grown into
a dust bunny type effect, the inside ties broke so I replaced them with
electric pink ribbon that I had and the belt also went bye-bye, so I found a
belt made out of blue paisley print fabric.
So, there I stood, feeling no pain from my tooth, happy that
I had a great rest, happy that my dd & sil texted me that she loved me and
they got on their flights to Miami and she will text when they get to Miami.
While I am writing this, she texted me again, "you have been the best Mom
ever." (I kind of broke down yesterday {feelings overload} that feared I
had somehow failed them because I only learned how to be a Mom from a book)
Both Jenn & Zach hugged me tight.
So, this is how I will inspire you today. No matter how you
look or feel, if you love those who are important to you AND you tell them; and
no matter if Maxine is staring back at you from the mirror, if you love
yourself enough, it is ALL good. G-d loves me, my families loves me, (in this I
mean my children) and you, my dearhearts, love me. Thank you for letting me
'inspire you' with my short tales from me, The "Duchess of Dundale Road"
I have used that fake title to name myself in some of my novels. I think I will
get one printed up in semi published format and send you all a first edition.
You can read it and then use it for whatever....
Merry, Merry Christmas! Omega Lambda Gal's, the best Sorority
Sisters on Cafemom!
The lovely author of these works would like to remain anonymous.
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